We saw our perinatologist the other day and I figured he'd be happy that the situation has resolved itself and we no longer have to worry. Instead he tells us that now we have to decide what we will do about testing baby A and B. Our options are either cvs for both at 12 weeks or amnio at 16 weeks. The advantage to cvs is that we will know earlier if there are chromosomal problems with the babies. Amnio will give us the same results, just several weeks later. To be honest, I'm scared to death of cvs. It just sounds awful. There is a simple blood test we can do at 12 weeks that will give us an indication of the babies health, but since we lost baby C, we are told that the results of the test will be inaccurate and it is not worth doing.
The issue again for me though is what will we do if the results are not good. Before, we were told baby C might pose a danger to my health and the health of the other two babies and that we should reduce. Thankfully we didn't have to. If it turns out there is something wrong with one or both of the other babies, what would be the justification in reducing? It's a different ball game. Would we reduce simply because a baby wasn't perfect? When do we stop playing God?
I know my situation is no longer different from any other woman's out there. Thankfully, I'm now dealing with normal issues. What does one do when an amnio test suggests a problem? My closest friends have said they waited for the results before they shared the news about their pregnancy because they knew they couldn't raise a child with severe problems. My husband said he doesn't think he's equipped to deal with a special child. That just breaks my heart. But am I equipped either?
I guess all I can do is just wait it out, hope and pray that they are healthy and maybe this will be one problem we will actually not have to face. I feel like we've been through so much already that we deserve a free pass on this issue.
I promise my next blog will be more uplifting.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
You can take this for what it's worth, but I don't think anyone thinks they are equipped to handle a special needs child. I think it's just one of those situations where you learn to deal as you go. Also, you talk to other parents of special needs kids and get help from professionals. Eventually, you develop the skills you need to meet the needs of your family.
I don't mean that to sound preachy! I just know it can be scary facing the unknown, espcially when you are looking at the possibility of something that seems overwhelming.
I hope that every thing is ok with the babies! I opted not to test for abnormalities because I figured the stress I would feel during the pregnancy, if there was a higher than normal chance something was wrong, didn't do anyone any good... However, I know some people are more stressed not knowing.
I'm sorry you have already been through so much! I also hope that the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing! Take care!
*hugs* I am so sorry for all you're going through. You have my well wishes and positive thoughts.
we can totally relate -- our first pregnancy was a single one and the dr told us it looks like the baby wiill probably have down syndrome. we were going back and forth about what to do if that really happened. we couldn't decide. My husband also wasn't sure he could raise a special child. Anyway, they wanted me to do a nucal translucency at 10 weeks and if that looked bad then amnio at 12 weeks. The day before the nucal, I started miscarrying. so we never needed to make that decision. But I know what a hard decision it can be and I hope you never have to make it and that everything will be fine! Good luck!
This is such a personal decision and there is no wrong answer for us we were told after a blood test that our baby was at high risk for a genetic disorder after speaking to some friends with special needs children we decided that this baby was ours after the amino we were told everything was fine. Our son was later in an accident that required months of therapy and uncertainty. Our story ended up to be a happy one our son is healthy and does great in every area of his life but what this taught us was "life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get". I wish you luck and hope that you continue to have the wisdom to make a decision based on your needs and the strength to live by it and never regret it
I don't know how old you are, but if you are 35 or under, the chances of having a chromosomally normal baby are typically greater than 95%. Even in a "normal" pregnancy, there are difficult decisions about testing. In my case, after two quite abnormal prengancies it seemed even more difficult. What helped me was taking one step at a time. With respect to the testing -- which is the first decision you have to make -- I think you have to know yourself and what risks you can live with and what knowledge you need (and when) to make decisions. I needed to know definitively whether there were chromosomal problems, and for me, I needed to know earlier, so I had a CVS. I can't tell you it was fun, but it certainly wasn't that bad. I think choice of doctor is critical (same for amnio) -- if you are in NY and decide to go this route, I would recommend NYU or Columbia, where they do them all the time.
This is a personal decision for every couple.
If you want some input, I can say this - I have twins and had to have a CVS due to increased risk of Down's on one of them. I had a CVS at 12 weeks. I was absolutely terrified. I wasn't ready for it, they didn't use local anesthetics, and I was so worried about losing a baby due to the CVS.
The truth is it really didn't hurt, even without the local - it was a slight cramping, only a little uncomfortable. They're very fast, takes only max 5 minutes. They used an ultrasound the entire time to ensure both babies were ok, and I just took it easy that night. Mine turned out ok, both babies healthy, and having had that CVS gave me peace of mind.
It's a very frightening time, and I'm here if you want to talk.
I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this, I will be keeping you and the little ones in my thoughts and prayers.
Waiting, hoping, and praying with you and envisioning the BEST! ((Hugs))coming your way.
Post a Comment