Monday, June 9, 2008

mixed blessing

after three appointments last week with different doctors and trying to determine what to do about baby c...it seems our prayers have been answered. baby c no longer has a heartbeat. while i know this sounds terrible, we are so relieved that we did not have to make any kind of decision and that I didn't have to undergo an awful procedure that i'm sure would have left me scarred for life. we knew all along that there was something wrong with c. the situation has forced me to examine my feelings on issues i thought i'd never have to face. perhaps there was a reason for this all. i regret the life that was lost, but i know it's for the best. the other two will have a better chance at life and the threat to my health has been greatly diminished. i truly hope no other woman out there has to go through this.

10 comments:

Susu1579 said...

What a heart-wrenching journey you've been on!! My heart goes out to you but it sounds like you are doing very well all things considered. Time to focus on those two lucky babies you are carrying.

Meghan said...

wow--what a lot you've been through the last few weeks. I'm glad everything has worked out in a way your happy with.

And may the rest of your pregnancy be wonderfully boring ;)

sara said...

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this, it is heartbreaking no matter how you put it. I hope you're feeling okay, and hoping that there are many more very boring days ahead.

JewishMama said...

So sorry to hear about C, but I can understand why it is a sort of relief, that no medical intervention was needed in the end. I often wonder why for some of us having children is so full of problems, while others seem to have no problems at all. Stay strong for A & B.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about C but I'm glad you don't have to make a decision about what to do. What a blessing to have 2 on the way! Is the baby room ready?

Trying said...

At least this is over with now, and you can enjoy the rest of the pregnancy!

Modern Orthodox IF said...

sorry you had to deal with this! Hopefully the rest of your pregnancy will be smooth!

Kristen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope Baby A and Baby B hang in there nice and tight for you and that the rest of your pregnancy will be uneventful. XOXO

Fat Girl said...

Here from L&F.

I am very sorry you lost one of your babies. I am glad, though, that you didn't have to make a decision. What a difficult and painful situation.

Bella said...

Hi! I just started reading. You do not sound callous at all. A similar thing happened with us, but we started with twins. At 10 weeks it became clear that one certainly had a genetic defect, or at the very least, serious heart problems. We waited until the last minute (13.5 weeks) to do the "reduction" hoping his heart would stop on its own. It didn't. It was awful. After the fact we found out that he had trisomy 18 and it was highly unlikely that he would have survived the second trimester and in the best case scenario would have had a life expectancy of less than one year. Thankfully we had a healthy baby in the proper time. It's too bad things can't just be simple! Hang in there!