I'm breaking my rule about writing more than once a day but here's the thing...I have to go on a weekend retreat with a bunch of teens tomorrow and I likely won't have access to a computer. The good news is that the venue has changed due to excessive snow so we'll be sleeping on the floor of our school instead. Bad news is there are no showers, so they are going to shuttle us on Saturday to a nearby hotel. Still beats sitting on a bus for hours with all of them.
Anyway, my husband works late these days in an effort to earn his bonus. It never seems worth it if you ask me. So blogging, I guess, is just another way to waste time.
Watched a really amusing French film this afternoon while playing hookie from work. It's called L' Iceberg and it's about a woman who gets trapped in a restaurant freezer. Upon realizing her family failed to even notice she was missing all night, she sets out to find an iceberg (the freezer experience apparently stirred this passion in her soul). It was certainly different, but I thought brilliantly done. Foreign movies are so much better than the Hollywood crap that the masses flock to see.
I'm babbling so I'll stop.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Stress
Yesterday I got into a screaming fight with a teacher. Most of the women at my school have been very receptive and welcoming to me over the past couple of years as the new assistant principal. There is one older woman however who obviously does not understand or care to acknowledge my position and continues to treat me as if I work for her by coming to me for last minute xeroxing or stupid tasks she should have done on her own time in preparation for class.
So yesterday she had a new student. I walked the child, sibling and mother to her classroom on the hour exactly. She was no where to be found. Our school policy is that the teacher must be in the room 15 minutes before the first bell. I made small talk with the family and waited. When she didn't show after five minutes I suggested the snow might be delaying her and went looking for her. Turns out she was doing something else in the office. I calmly told her there was a family in her classroom and that she was late. She responded, she was busy doing something for the principal. I then responded, I don't care...the rule is that you are in your classroom 15 minutes before class. This rule applies to everyone and she is not special. She stormed away.
Fast forward to after school. She comes into the office and says from the principals office (they are right next door)...I need to talk to you, come in here. She called ME into the Principals office. The f-ing nerve. So like a fool, I got up and went into the office. Then she tells me I owe her an apology. Can you believe? F her!... which is essentially what I said but a little cleaner.
I said a bunch of other things and to make a long story short nothing was resolved, we yelled at each other for about 20 minutes. The principal did not take sides...but I'm told by many others I have since spoken with that she should have in fact, backed me up as the assistant principal. It got ugly. The teacher is a close talker and with ever step she came closer to my face the more I had to refrain from slapping her (I've never hit a person before but there is always a first).
And the point of all this is...I kept thinking man, if I am by some miracle pregnant, this stress can't be good for a baby. Otherwise, this is some serious PMS.
So yesterday she had a new student. I walked the child, sibling and mother to her classroom on the hour exactly. She was no where to be found. Our school policy is that the teacher must be in the room 15 minutes before the first bell. I made small talk with the family and waited. When she didn't show after five minutes I suggested the snow might be delaying her and went looking for her. Turns out she was doing something else in the office. I calmly told her there was a family in her classroom and that she was late. She responded, she was busy doing something for the principal. I then responded, I don't care...the rule is that you are in your classroom 15 minutes before class. This rule applies to everyone and she is not special. She stormed away.
Fast forward to after school. She comes into the office and says from the principals office (they are right next door)...I need to talk to you, come in here. She called ME into the Principals office. The f-ing nerve. So like a fool, I got up and went into the office. Then she tells me I owe her an apology. Can you believe? F her!... which is essentially what I said but a little cleaner.
I said a bunch of other things and to make a long story short nothing was resolved, we yelled at each other for about 20 minutes. The principal did not take sides...but I'm told by many others I have since spoken with that she should have in fact, backed me up as the assistant principal. It got ugly. The teacher is a close talker and with ever step she came closer to my face the more I had to refrain from slapping her (I've never hit a person before but there is always a first).
And the point of all this is...I kept thinking man, if I am by some miracle pregnant, this stress can't be good for a baby. Otherwise, this is some serious PMS.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Clean Air
I live in an apartment building with at least four smokers that I know of...one being my darling husband who says he simply doesn't have the strength to quit. It sucks and I tell him he will not hold our future child after smoking a cigarette. He does not smoke inside however. The others do and it's disgusting to walk by their doorways when they are open because the smell just hits you in the face. One woman downstairs actually went for surgery a few months back for her knee but they were unable to operate because she had blood clots in her lungs. Wouldn't blood clots in your lungs scare you badly enough to encourage you to quit? She's not elderly, probably my mother's age, but she looks rather ancient and she rarely leaves the house for medical reasons. All she does is chain smoke in her home. If she's looking for a way to die, I could suggest some faster ways that wouldn't infringe on others' rights to breath clean air.
So since we've started trying to conceive I've started worrying about all these things right? I stopped using deodorant last week as an experiment. Here's the thing...I estimate I have been using deodorant for about 20 years or so. (Ok, I know this really is of no interest to you but anyway...) The other day I was contemplating shaving my underarms and legs and then I decided there was no point because I still have that no sex thing going as directed by my doctor so I might as well take advantage and let it all grow out. But I was thinking, when I do shave and then apply deodorant, there is always that sting. Got me thinking...that can't be good. So I'm going without these days and it's so freaking cold out it doesn't even matter because I won't be sweating for months.
Back to the clean air...We also have these cleaning ladies who clean the staircases and hallways. They spray so much air fresher that one can't breath when entering the building. Since it is a small, enclosed area, the smell of roses and cigarettes is perpetually trapped. The thing is, they think that by spraying this poison they are cleaning but they are really just masking dirty air with toxic chemicals. I bet they buy the stuff from dollar stores and it's imported from China or some third world country where there are no standards. (Sorry to pick on China, but I don't trust their products at this point). I am forced to play this game where I open the front door, run up the stairs and try to enter my apartment all on the breath I took outside. I inevitably lose the game and end up taking a big gulp of disgusting air as I'm trying to unlock the multiple locks on my door (we live in a shady neighborhood). We've purchased one of those air purifiers but I don't know how efficacious they really are. We keep it on 24/7. It seems to just make a lot of noise.
That's all I've got today. Still don't feel the slightest bit pregnant.
So since we've started trying to conceive I've started worrying about all these things right? I stopped using deodorant last week as an experiment. Here's the thing...I estimate I have been using deodorant for about 20 years or so. (Ok, I know this really is of no interest to you but anyway...) The other day I was contemplating shaving my underarms and legs and then I decided there was no point because I still have that no sex thing going as directed by my doctor so I might as well take advantage and let it all grow out. But I was thinking, when I do shave and then apply deodorant, there is always that sting. Got me thinking...that can't be good. So I'm going without these days and it's so freaking cold out it doesn't even matter because I won't be sweating for months.
Back to the clean air...We also have these cleaning ladies who clean the staircases and hallways. They spray so much air fresher that one can't breath when entering the building. Since it is a small, enclosed area, the smell of roses and cigarettes is perpetually trapped. The thing is, they think that by spraying this poison they are cleaning but they are really just masking dirty air with toxic chemicals. I bet they buy the stuff from dollar stores and it's imported from China or some third world country where there are no standards. (Sorry to pick on China, but I don't trust their products at this point). I am forced to play this game where I open the front door, run up the stairs and try to enter my apartment all on the breath I took outside. I inevitably lose the game and end up taking a big gulp of disgusting air as I'm trying to unlock the multiple locks on my door (we live in a shady neighborhood). We've purchased one of those air purifiers but I don't know how efficacious they really are. We keep it on 24/7. It seems to just make a lot of noise.
That's all I've got today. Still don't feel the slightest bit pregnant.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Middle Class America
I grew up in what I thought was a wealthy area. My neighborhood was brand new with houses going up each day, huge yards, swimming pools etc. I had a professional basketball player on my street who we used to bug for autographs every time he had the team over.
The inhabitants of the neighborhood next door obviously thought they were entitled too. Most of the women of this neighboring development did not work and spent their days lunching, shopping, playing tennis in their mini skirts with all their veins and business hanging out for the world to see. Then they would rush home to feed their overfed kids their snacks before shuttling them to ballet, boy scouts, swimming etc. These uppity woman walked around with their noses in the air. They threw pre-prom and homecoming parties exclusively for their neighborhood...no one else was welcome. They were all good white churchgoers. At that time I can't recall one African-American family in that neighborhood and my people certainly were not invited to participate in their National Charity League luncheons.
I guess I was just reminded about this the other night when I was flipping through the tv and stopped on some reality show...I think it was some kind of race around the world. It was the very end and the two losers (I'm not being mean, they actually lost) were these blond women. So one of them says something like, we come from a privileged lifestyle...we get our manicures, pedicures and facials blah, blah, blah and then proceeded to say how proud she was that they did this race. I know they edit these shows to make the people look worse than they are, but come on...I'm sure she's middle America with her $22 combination manicure and pedicure. Get a job and life! You may be privileged, but not for the reasons you think. Those nail salons are filthy by the way and the fumes will kill you...but go ahead and get your weekly dose of poison.
So fast forward a few decades...many of those perfect little households in that neighborhood, and in mine as well, have dissipated. I've heard many stories of these women being forced to find jobs in Hallmark shops and clothing stores to pay the massive dept they accrued all those years shopping.
I'm not sure why I'm so bitchy...I don't mean to take pleasure from the downfall of others. I just can't help but think how horrible these women were to me and others simply because they thought they were so much better. I was young, shy and naive and sustained so much emotional and verbal abuse from these nasty women and my elementary teachers too...but that's another blog.
I've since seen true wealth. I work in an affluent area. I will likely never drive cars as nice as my students. That said, my students have class, an interest in the environment and a commitment to bettering the world and they don't walk around treating others like they are less than human because of money, skin color, religion, or neighborhood.
I know this has nothing to do with my IF, but I'm still just hanging out til Dec. 11th and I still don't feel pregnant so I haven't much to say on that subject. I'm so angry right now...I'm certain it's PMS.
The inhabitants of the neighborhood next door obviously thought they were entitled too. Most of the women of this neighboring development did not work and spent their days lunching, shopping, playing tennis in their mini skirts with all their veins and business hanging out for the world to see. Then they would rush home to feed their overfed kids their snacks before shuttling them to ballet, boy scouts, swimming etc. These uppity woman walked around with their noses in the air. They threw pre-prom and homecoming parties exclusively for their neighborhood...no one else was welcome. They were all good white churchgoers. At that time I can't recall one African-American family in that neighborhood and my people certainly were not invited to participate in their National Charity League luncheons.
I guess I was just reminded about this the other night when I was flipping through the tv and stopped on some reality show...I think it was some kind of race around the world. It was the very end and the two losers (I'm not being mean, they actually lost) were these blond women. So one of them says something like, we come from a privileged lifestyle...we get our manicures, pedicures and facials blah, blah, blah and then proceeded to say how proud she was that they did this race. I know they edit these shows to make the people look worse than they are, but come on...I'm sure she's middle America with her $22 combination manicure and pedicure. Get a job and life! You may be privileged, but not for the reasons you think. Those nail salons are filthy by the way and the fumes will kill you...but go ahead and get your weekly dose of poison.
So fast forward a few decades...many of those perfect little households in that neighborhood, and in mine as well, have dissipated. I've heard many stories of these women being forced to find jobs in Hallmark shops and clothing stores to pay the massive dept they accrued all those years shopping.
I'm not sure why I'm so bitchy...I don't mean to take pleasure from the downfall of others. I just can't help but think how horrible these women were to me and others simply because they thought they were so much better. I was young, shy and naive and sustained so much emotional and verbal abuse from these nasty women and my elementary teachers too...but that's another blog.
I've since seen true wealth. I work in an affluent area. I will likely never drive cars as nice as my students. That said, my students have class, an interest in the environment and a commitment to bettering the world and they don't walk around treating others like they are less than human because of money, skin color, religion, or neighborhood.
I know this has nothing to do with my IF, but I'm still just hanging out til Dec. 11th and I still don't feel pregnant so I haven't much to say on that subject. I'm so angry right now...I'm certain it's PMS.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Poopie Hand
We arranged for a speaker for our students at work the other day. The woman shows up with the cuddliest little 10 month old girl. She was really too cute for words. So the woman wanted to know if someone could babysit while she was presenting to our students. Ok, a bit presumptuous, but we have some teens who can help out. Actually we had three teens fighting for the chance to play with the little girl.
After the woman's first presentation she took a break in the snack room where she proceeded to whip out her boob in front of all our teenagers and staff. She didn't have any kind of towel, shawl or cover. She did it completely for the world to see. Our teenagers, particularly the boys were horrified and left the room.
I personally don't have a problem with public breastfeeding...it's the most nature thing in the world right...? But feeding the kid in front of teens, totally exposed is a bit thoughtless. So she finishes feeding and then she returns the kid to our babysitters and says something like...she'll probably have a poopie soon. At which one of the babysitters responds, do you have any baby wipes? Not an outrageous question. So the woman responds, no, I just like to wash her tush under warm water. What?!!! Ok, so now I have to get involved because these teens aren't even getting paid for this good deed and they are asked to use their bare hands to clean this strange child's ass. Unbelievable! We found wipes in our preschool.
Skip ahead to her collecting the child after her second performance... She comes in to get her. She proceeds to stick her hand in the baby's diaper and then pulls out her soiled hand and says, Oh, I found poopie. What an odd mommy.
After the woman's first presentation she took a break in the snack room where she proceeded to whip out her boob in front of all our teenagers and staff. She didn't have any kind of towel, shawl or cover. She did it completely for the world to see. Our teenagers, particularly the boys were horrified and left the room.
I personally don't have a problem with public breastfeeding...it's the most nature thing in the world right...? But feeding the kid in front of teens, totally exposed is a bit thoughtless. So she finishes feeding and then she returns the kid to our babysitters and says something like...she'll probably have a poopie soon. At which one of the babysitters responds, do you have any baby wipes? Not an outrageous question. So the woman responds, no, I just like to wash her tush under warm water. What?!!! Ok, so now I have to get involved because these teens aren't even getting paid for this good deed and they are asked to use their bare hands to clean this strange child's ass. Unbelievable! We found wipes in our preschool.
Skip ahead to her collecting the child after her second performance... She comes in to get her. She proceeds to stick her hand in the baby's diaper and then pulls out her soiled hand and says, Oh, I found poopie. What an odd mommy.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
What to Say to Stupid People
Yesterday I was commenting on someone's blog (If I remember the blog I'll add it later) about how stupid people can be when it comes to asking personal questions regarding having children. I said that the next time I'm asked...when are you going to have a baby, I will just say something like...you'll be the first to know. So of course, two people asked me today when I plan to have a baby and I didn't know what to say because this time they were teenagers. I can't blame them for being ignorant nor am I about to educate my teen students about infertility. I stumbled and stuttered and finally said something silly about wanting to spend time alone with my husband before I jumped into motherhood. They just kept asking me questions and I didn't know how to make it stop nor did I want to embarrass them as I would their parents had they asked instead. Uggh.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Nothing to Say Really
I have nothing to say but feel obligated to be consistent in my writing...particularly in the interest of my two readers. Glad it's Saturday but I've got to spend it doing errands and preparing for a project I'm doing at work. It's supposed to snow tomorrow but not enough to get me out of work on Monday which is a drag. It'll be just enough to make a mess on the roads. I think I've purchased enough presents for our neighbors, co-workers etc. Our second bedroom has been converted to the holiday gift room which I am sure is not unusual. All I want this year is a big red bag but my husband and I don't exchange gifts. He thinks it's a waste of money that could be going into our house fund. Always living for the future, we are. Nothing else...I don't feel pregnant. My friends have told me that a sign is having sore boobs and mine are not remotely sore. I've also got a miserable cold but am fearful about taking anything just in case. That's all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)